I truly would like to convert to Islam, in order to get married with my indonesian girlfriend. her family say that even i convert they would never accept i marry my girlfriend if i don't prove i have been circumcised. I have some concerns about that, because beimg circumcised as an adult is not same as a kid. Medically speaking, it is often reported a reduction of the pleasure feelings during sexual intercourse, and it is way more painful surgery than when you are kid. i heard that in Sunnah, some imams say that circumcision is not wajib, if the believer thinks it can harm him, or it is beyond his capability of acceptance. Is the family of my girlfriend correct at putting as a condition for the marriage me being already circumcised, after conversion? The father seems even willing to make sure by check up if i did or not. In this situation our plan of wedding got stuck, even we truly love each other. i wish to know a detailed opinion about the case, thank you.
First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your intention to embrace Islam but you should purify your intention of accepting Islam. You should not accept Islam because you want to marry a Muslim woman because then it would have no benefit for you and no reward for you. You should accept Islam for the sake of Allah and believing wholeheartedly that Islam is the true religion and the path to salvation. Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the final Messenger of Allah.
If you accept Islam for the above reason then you conversion to Islam will be valid and reward worthy.
Now to answer your question on circumcision, in general circumcision is considered obligatory for males. Therefore, you should have it performed after or before your conversion to Islam. Circumcision is not only recommended in Islam as a ritual but is also good for the health of the person as it prevents one from many possible diseases and infections.
Now if someone is unable to bear the pain of circumcision or can not find a proper person to perform circumcision then it may be avoided.
And Allah knows best.
Mufti Ikram ul Haq
Fatwa Center of America