I am having trouble following the rules of islam pertaining to friendships with females. I am a boy in high school living in the USA. For the past year i have been talking to this non-muslim girl in my class alot. We have become very good friends now. I understand my boundary with dating, and i am trying to keep away from it. However, since i met her i have been constantly thinking about her. We play the same sport and at our sporting events we spend a lot of time together, but in public. She invited me and some other friends to her house recently to hang out. My mother wasn't very pleased with me going, but eventually let me, knowing that her parents would be home the whole time. Nothing happened that i believe was haraam because all we did was play games inside and outside, then watched a movie. I had a lot of fun just spending time with her and other friends. However my mother told me the next day that I have to stay away from girls unless it involved schoolwork and such. i thought this was more of a cultural thing, so i thought i could wiggle my way around the rule somehow. But i soon found out it is haraam. I have looked online for answers and it is unanimous that spending time with a non-mahram is very bad. With this revelation i have become somewhat depressed. I have never had any sexual thoughts about her because that is not what i care about. i love her personality and she is extremely beautiful. The only thing i can think about is that i want to be spend time with her. The Shaitaan has lured me out too far, and i do not know what to do because i think i really do love this girl. My mother has been worried lately because she is afraid she isnt raising me properly in islam and fears what allah will bring to her. Deep inside i feel the same, but i cant just let her go because my connection with her is too strong. Please tell me how to deal with this situation, and please respect my feelings as they are very personal. Jazakallahu Khairun
Your mom's concern was legitmate and her advice was correct. Indeed you did go too far in your relationship with a non-Mahram. Now you must stop all kinds of meetings and communication immediately and if you truly want her as your wife then you should start introducing her to Islam and encorage her to explore her life in Islam. If she reverts to Islam then you should marry her.
And Allah knows best.
Mufti Ikram ul Haq
Fatwa Center of America